| the realist post i've ever made |
[Jul. 24th, 2005|05:47 am] |
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this is without a doubt the hardest moment in life. i have lost a girl that i love - friends that i love - i feel more distant from God than i have ever felt - my car is broken down - i don't have a license - i have no money - i barely have a job - i'm shaking right now and i don't know why - i've lost most of my dignity - i've broken plenty of promises - i've lost my dog - i'm addicted to cigarettes and alcohol - i don't really know who i am anymore - i don't know anybody who understands me - i'm depressed - i'm scared - my parents probably worry about me everyday - my phone is shut off - my friends are worried about me - i'm not playing music - i feel like... shit |
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| fuck subjects |
[Feb. 19th, 2005|04:41 am] |
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everything is changing - and my memories feel like dreams... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 8th, 2004|02:16 am] |
p.s. i just read all of my lj posts - and i felt like i was reading somebody else's journal...
p.s.s. i can't be gettin spel chek to werk - so deel wid the speling errers...
i had a dream last night - probably the most intense i've ever had...
it started at my house - with my immediate family and a couple of other people who were there one moment and gone the next - yada yada yada - at the end of the dream - just me and isaac are outside the house looking at the sunset. the sky seems torn from darkness or light. while i'm looking at the moon - another moon eerily fades in from my peripheral vision and pans across the sky. this moon overlaps the one i was looking at and rapidly increases in size. within a couple seconds the moon is so bright and so large, that i can only see about half the sky. at this moment i'm so intimidated that i can't speak - and before i can even think - the moon unexplainibly shifts from background to forground, and within seconds, begins to catch on fire... i hear isaac say - "this is it. this is the end of the world..." just then - the moon explodes and my brother and i are taken from our bodies and we begin floating across the grass of our front yard. i look to my left and see isaac vanishing into the ground as i feel like i'm being carried somewhere that's too intense for words...wake up |
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| reasons why |
[Jun. 22nd, 2004|11:28 am] |
1 when i ran into the median on I95, after being side-swiped by the texaco 18-wheeler, and got out without a scratch on me - it felt like more than luck.
2 when joey kent prayed for me @ the show, and i went completely limp - it felt like there was something out there that was stronger than nature.
3. the feeling i get when i'm praying and the contrast when i'm not.
4. looking @ the sunrise 30,000ft in the air...
5. love, music and cool night breeze.
6. my parents.
7. i never feel wrong believing.
8. it doesn't seem to be disproved.
9. the miracles i've heard of.
10. that there's a chance i could spend eternity in agony rather than bliss... |
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| too much for words |
[May. 19th, 2004|03:09 am] |
i wish i could say what's on my mind
this is crazy... |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 6th, 2004|10:19 pm] |
everything i write is always so contrived -
i'm sick of thinking about thinking too much -
it's like a DISEASE - i'm even doing it right now -
it's taking me forever to write each line -
w
h
a
t
t
h
e
d
a
m
n? |
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| optional |
[Apr. 13th, 2004|01:57 am] |
Four years ago - I totally wouldn't have thought that was me... |
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| updated |
[Mar. 24th, 2004|04:17 pm] |
when
has
a
time
told
how
easier
determining
a
moment...
nevermind
? |
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| to you |
[Feb. 4th, 2004|05:29 am] |
i feel so cold tonight
but the thought of you warms out my fears
but i can't see the thought of hurting you
because my eyes are too blured with tears
i don't know what i'd do if -
i can't even say how it feels
it's so hard to see
but i can feel: and when i'm with you - it feels so sureal
but the only reason i wish i could see tonight
is to see your face - and see the stars in your eyes.
you're so beautiful baby - i love you.
jon
ps - sorry it's freakin mushy |
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| optional |
[Dec. 28th, 2003|10:55 pm] |
yo...i'm in millwaukee.
i'm a gnikcuf flight attendant
no doubt - this is pretty stellar
but i'm ready to go home - i miss alot of people and a dog
i'm about to go walk in the freezing ass cold to denny's
outy 5000. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 16th, 2003|11:23 pm] |
i'm totally freakin stressed - but gavin's crackin me up -
he keeps on running out to the kitchen to get a bite of food -
and then brings it on to my bed to eat it. yeah.
pointless. what is the point of this livejournal.
is this somehow making me feel better - nah.
i'm i poetically expressing myself and my life to my friends - nay.
nevertheless - there's some luer to this bull shit journal.
i don't know....maybe i just don't like it because i'm not lj popular.
yeah - whatever. |
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| brutally honest |
[Oct. 29th, 2003|03:21 am] |
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i'm posting on this sh*t because i feel like it. i said my last post was my last post - but because tim posted as me - i'm gunna count that as a loop hole to post....i'm not sure if that made sense - but i'm a little buzzed right now so i don't really care - here's to making posts. |
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| my last post |
[May. 26th, 2003|05:44 pm] |
this moment in life reflects the intensity of love i feel - with God there's too much for words.
ps - i had my first kiss two nights ago: to that girl - thanks for making it a good one. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 22nd, 2003|01:08 am] |
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i'm sitting here...1:10am: and i've never felt like this....i think i caught myself on the flipside. i'd elaberate, but i already know what i'm talking about. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 17th, 2002|08:45 pm] |
quasi post #1:
feelings, nothing more than feelings...trying to forget them.
quasi post #2:
it erks me that i'm influenced, when i actually do post, by what other people think of this crap. |
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| to change |
[Aug. 24th, 2002|02:39 am] |
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i am beggining to get anxious for love...when i think of it, i ask God to fill that void, but i have an overwhelming desire to be in love....,true love....with a girl. there's apart of me thats not ready, along with the part that doesn't feel like i deserve to have true love, or a have a girl that i like, like me.....blah blah blah. boring post jon; you should write something like "tonight i say a show and it was great. and then i went to taco bell and we laughed and it was fun. and now i'm tired. good night everybody!"......maybe next time. the fact is, i miss deleted. peace. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 1st, 2002|08:34 am] |
i shaved my head.....
ps. sorry it's not alot of reading material tim, but that about all i feel like typing...aside from this post script of course. yeah |
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